The First
It's always hard to find one thing you really love and then live on it.
Three years ago, I came to the United States to pursue my bachelor degree. I didn't know what was waiting for me; I didn't know what that meant to be here. I came here just because my mom said I could have a better future. I didn't realize that I would feel so grateful to be here, after three years.
I could still feel the nervousness when thinking about the first English class - Writing: Rhetoric and Reading I took in my first semester, even if it was three years ago. “Everything will be okay.” Looking at those strange faces in that classroom, I told myself. But I was wrong. My mind was blank while the professor was introducing the class. It feels like I was walking in a foggy forest and couldn’t find the way out. But three years later, the fog surrounding me is dissipating. Although I'm still trying to figure out the real me, what I'm going to do after graduate, and what I really want to do.
These years, I've learned a lot, not only from the classes I've taken, but also the people I met and things happened to me. I'm always looking, looking for the real self. During the three years, I made few changes of my majors and minor because I'm nor sure what I want. I'm a Communication Studies major when I came here. Last year, I double majored Psychology because I've been interested in it for a long time. And then, I minored English last semester. I like various things, and I want to learn everything, but it seems that none of them makes me feel that I would live on it the rest of my life.
However, I'm thinking to make some changes again recently. I'm taking an English class - Writing: Literacy this semester. Our first writing project was writing a literacy narrative to talk about our literacy. Because of that assignment, I started re-examining myself and thinking about what is the significant part of my life. Looking back the three years, I realized that there's one thing I really love, which has been in my blood since a long time ago. It's writing. So, I think I should be an English major while keep my COMM major of course.
Writing is my tool to connect with the world, to express the inner me, and to show my soul. Almost all my English professors said I'm a good writer, as a non-English speaker. The first semester, when I felt helpless, it was writing that brought me a beam of sunshine. So I guess they are right. After talking to my favorite English professor this Monday, I know I've found the thing I want to live on.
I felt so lucky to meet Dr. Ramsay this Monday when I was struggling with my majors and my future. I don't remember how many times I passed by his office and looked if he was there. But I've never meant to have a real conversation with him. This Monday when I came out from my professor's office and passed by his office without stopping, again, I was thinking the same thing, "hope Dr. Ramsay is at his office."
"You must be kidding me!" When I went downstairs, I saw a familiar face. Dr. Ramsay was going upstairs with a cup of coffee in his hand. "Dr. Ramsay!" He saw me and said hello. We started talking and walked to his office to have the conversation I've been looking forward to for a long time. To me, he's such a good mentor who had encouraged and inspired me a lot last year when I took his Intro to Literature class.
So, we talked my confusion, my passion for writing, what I should or should not do in the future, and the cultures. "You're a born writer." He said to me. And when he got to know that I kept my writings private instead of showing them to public, he laughed. I always lack that confidence even if I've become more confident compared to myself in the first year. I don't know why I've never shown others what I've written. "Secret writing?! You have to change your mind! You can't do that!" So he suggested, or "commanded" me, as he said himself, I should start a blog. And then, here I am.
It's always hard to find the real self and the thing you really love. I'm still discovering who I really am (it's an endless topic to me). But I find the thing I really love, no matter if I would live on it for the rest of my life. And I have to make this step, or I would regret someday in the future.
Three years ago, I came to the United States to pursue my bachelor degree. I didn't know what was waiting for me; I didn't know what that meant to be here. I came here just because my mom said I could have a better future. I didn't realize that I would feel so grateful to be here, after three years.
I could still feel the nervousness when thinking about the first English class - Writing: Rhetoric and Reading I took in my first semester, even if it was three years ago. “Everything will be okay.” Looking at those strange faces in that classroom, I told myself. But I was wrong. My mind was blank while the professor was introducing the class. It feels like I was walking in a foggy forest and couldn’t find the way out. But three years later, the fog surrounding me is dissipating. Although I'm still trying to figure out the real me, what I'm going to do after graduate, and what I really want to do.
These years, I've learned a lot, not only from the classes I've taken, but also the people I met and things happened to me. I'm always looking, looking for the real self. During the three years, I made few changes of my majors and minor because I'm nor sure what I want. I'm a Communication Studies major when I came here. Last year, I double majored Psychology because I've been interested in it for a long time. And then, I minored English last semester. I like various things, and I want to learn everything, but it seems that none of them makes me feel that I would live on it the rest of my life.
However, I'm thinking to make some changes again recently. I'm taking an English class - Writing: Literacy this semester. Our first writing project was writing a literacy narrative to talk about our literacy. Because of that assignment, I started re-examining myself and thinking about what is the significant part of my life. Looking back the three years, I realized that there's one thing I really love, which has been in my blood since a long time ago. It's writing. So, I think I should be an English major while keep my COMM major of course.
Writing is my tool to connect with the world, to express the inner me, and to show my soul. Almost all my English professors said I'm a good writer, as a non-English speaker. The first semester, when I felt helpless, it was writing that brought me a beam of sunshine. So I guess they are right. After talking to my favorite English professor this Monday, I know I've found the thing I want to live on.
I felt so lucky to meet Dr. Ramsay this Monday when I was struggling with my majors and my future. I don't remember how many times I passed by his office and looked if he was there. But I've never meant to have a real conversation with him. This Monday when I came out from my professor's office and passed by his office without stopping, again, I was thinking the same thing, "hope Dr. Ramsay is at his office."
"You must be kidding me!" When I went downstairs, I saw a familiar face. Dr. Ramsay was going upstairs with a cup of coffee in his hand. "Dr. Ramsay!" He saw me and said hello. We started talking and walked to his office to have the conversation I've been looking forward to for a long time. To me, he's such a good mentor who had encouraged and inspired me a lot last year when I took his Intro to Literature class.
So, we talked my confusion, my passion for writing, what I should or should not do in the future, and the cultures. "You're a born writer." He said to me. And when he got to know that I kept my writings private instead of showing them to public, he laughed. I always lack that confidence even if I've become more confident compared to myself in the first year. I don't know why I've never shown others what I've written. "Secret writing?! You have to change your mind! You can't do that!" So he suggested, or "commanded" me, as he said himself, I should start a blog. And then, here I am.
It's always hard to find the real self and the thing you really love. I'm still discovering who I really am (it's an endless topic to me). But I find the thing I really love, no matter if I would live on it for the rest of my life. And I have to make this step, or I would regret someday in the future.
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