The Diary of Aimee (Part I)
A beam of sun shined trough the window and sprinkled on my bed. Looking outside, the ground covered with snow glistening in the sunlight. A warm day like this in the winter is a luxury. It's Christmas Eve today. Although I should help my husband prepare for Christmas, I can't miss the rare chance to take a break and do my favorite thing - reading. Nothing is more enjoyable than sitting beside the window of the balcony, while letting the sun warm me, and turning over some pages of a book.
Last week when I sorted out my stuff in the basement, I found a box of notebooks. They are my old diaries. That made me feel surprised that my parents kept all of them when we moved. So. I took them out, let them bask in the sunshine, and decided to read them later. It seemed that today would be a great time to do it.
After more than 20 years, the paper has yellowed, the ink has become vague, and it smelled musty and stale. But I like the feeling of touching those old papers. The diary on the top of the pile is my first one, which was written in 25 years ago when I was thirteen.
It's snowing outside, so heavy that the school decided to close for three days. Luckily I don't have homework, so I could set beside the fireplace and enjoy my reading time the whole day. There's a quote I found in a book today; it read that "those who eat fugu soup are stupid. Those who don't eat fugu soup are also stupid." It was so funny that no matter you eat it or not, you are stupid. I wondered why people could say that. So I tried to get some answers from books.
According to what I read, Fugu is the Japanese name for porcupinefish. The Japanese consider fugu to be a great delicacy for those who can afford to eat it. It's one of the most celebrated and notorious dishes in Japanese cuisine. An article said that the pufferfish is considered the second most poisonous vertebrates in the world. The toxin is in their skin, ovaries, gonads, and liver. One fish can kill thirty people. However, the Japanese have been eating it for centuries. Because of its toxic, only specially licensed chefs are allowed to prepare it. Although chefs prepare the fish as carefully as possible, there're still many people died for the pleasure of eating it. Even thought the fish is dangerous, the modern gastronomic adventurers still like to take the risk for it.
I think I now know why people say that no matter if you eat the fugu soup or not, you are stupid. Those who eat fugu soup, they know that fugu is highly toxic, but they still would pay for it. And those who don't eat fugu soup, they give up the opportunity to taste the great delicacy. I was shocked by what I read. Why would someone like to risk their lives to eat it? Is fugu so deeply desired because eating it is a death-defying act, a poetic reminder of the inherent riskiness and fragility of life? Or is is, as the great 20th-century Japanese artist Kitaoji Rosanjin insisted, simply addictively, unnervingly delicious? "The taste of fugu is incomparable," he wrote, "if you eat it three or four times, you are enslaved... Anyone who declines it for fear of death is really a pitiable person." Why people eat it at all still seems a mystery.
Fortunately, I have enough time to think about it.
January 12, 1897
It's still snowing outside today. Like yesterday, I continued my reading and thought about the reason. I actually have some ideas right now. Those all might be the result of human being's ambition.
Since the emergence of the industrial civilization, human became more and more powerful. They think they are the master of this world, just like the omnipotent God. Human beings want to conquer everything that is challenging because it could make them have a strong sense of accomplishment and feel powerful. Eating the poisonous fugu is one of the challenges. Fugu is the second most poisonous vertebrates in the world. The human could take such a toxic thing to their menu; it must be a very honorable thing. After they conquered something, the sense of pride and the pleasure of outmatching all creatures in the world are what they pursue.
While human beings meet their needs, the creatures suffer pain. I once read that the porcupinefish protects itself in the wild by gulping down water and swelling up its belly to make itself look bigger because it can't find a way to communicate the simple message that "I'm poisonous." As a result, the fish has few predators. However, the poor porcupinefish couldn't protect itself from being a prey to humans. Facing human beings, they are so tiny and weak. What does it think when a cleaver comes near its head? The porcupinefish is the only fish can close its eyes, just like human beings. So, when they know that they are going to die, will they cry?
Looking outside, the large snowflakes are falling. The earth is covered with white that makes me confound the sky with the earth. At this time, I feel just like that little fish, so tiny, weak, and helpless.
Closing my old dairy, something came back to my mind. I remembered that someone once said, the more beautiful something is, the more dangerous it is as well, such as rose. Rose grows so delicate and charming that makes us want to touch it and hold it in hand. But, its bristly stems will hurt us if we take it out from the ground. Only if you just admire its beauty, it can be the most beautiful and most natural thing. So, similarly, the porcupinefish tasted fantastic, but it's the second most poisonous vertebrates in the world. They use their toxin to protect themselves. To meet the needs, greatest wise humans would always find a way to get what they want. They make the rose become their toy and train special chef to prepare the porcupinefish.
They don't realize that it's harmful to both themselves and those poor creatures. What a poor fish! They couldn't escape the fate of being killed by human beings even though they are toxic. Just like I wondered at the time I wrote the diary if they know they are going to die, will they cry?
Last week when I sorted out my stuff in the basement, I found a box of notebooks. They are my old diaries. That made me feel surprised that my parents kept all of them when we moved. So. I took them out, let them bask in the sunshine, and decided to read them later. It seemed that today would be a great time to do it.
After more than 20 years, the paper has yellowed, the ink has become vague, and it smelled musty and stale. But I like the feeling of touching those old papers. The diary on the top of the pile is my first one, which was written in 25 years ago when I was thirteen.
January 11, 1987
According to what I read, Fugu is the Japanese name for porcupinefish. The Japanese consider fugu to be a great delicacy for those who can afford to eat it. It's one of the most celebrated and notorious dishes in Japanese cuisine. An article said that the pufferfish is considered the second most poisonous vertebrates in the world. The toxin is in their skin, ovaries, gonads, and liver. One fish can kill thirty people. However, the Japanese have been eating it for centuries. Because of its toxic, only specially licensed chefs are allowed to prepare it. Although chefs prepare the fish as carefully as possible, there're still many people died for the pleasure of eating it. Even thought the fish is dangerous, the modern gastronomic adventurers still like to take the risk for it.
I think I now know why people say that no matter if you eat the fugu soup or not, you are stupid. Those who eat fugu soup, they know that fugu is highly toxic, but they still would pay for it. And those who don't eat fugu soup, they give up the opportunity to taste the great delicacy. I was shocked by what I read. Why would someone like to risk their lives to eat it? Is fugu so deeply desired because eating it is a death-defying act, a poetic reminder of the inherent riskiness and fragility of life? Or is is, as the great 20th-century Japanese artist Kitaoji Rosanjin insisted, simply addictively, unnervingly delicious? "The taste of fugu is incomparable," he wrote, "if you eat it three or four times, you are enslaved... Anyone who declines it for fear of death is really a pitiable person." Why people eat it at all still seems a mystery.
Fortunately, I have enough time to think about it.
January 12, 1897
It's still snowing outside today. Like yesterday, I continued my reading and thought about the reason. I actually have some ideas right now. Those all might be the result of human being's ambition.
Since the emergence of the industrial civilization, human became more and more powerful. They think they are the master of this world, just like the omnipotent God. Human beings want to conquer everything that is challenging because it could make them have a strong sense of accomplishment and feel powerful. Eating the poisonous fugu is one of the challenges. Fugu is the second most poisonous vertebrates in the world. The human could take such a toxic thing to their menu; it must be a very honorable thing. After they conquered something, the sense of pride and the pleasure of outmatching all creatures in the world are what they pursue.
While human beings meet their needs, the creatures suffer pain. I once read that the porcupinefish protects itself in the wild by gulping down water and swelling up its belly to make itself look bigger because it can't find a way to communicate the simple message that "I'm poisonous." As a result, the fish has few predators. However, the poor porcupinefish couldn't protect itself from being a prey to humans. Facing human beings, they are so tiny and weak. What does it think when a cleaver comes near its head? The porcupinefish is the only fish can close its eyes, just like human beings. So, when they know that they are going to die, will they cry?
Looking outside, the large snowflakes are falling. The earth is covered with white that makes me confound the sky with the earth. At this time, I feel just like that little fish, so tiny, weak, and helpless.
Closing my old dairy, something came back to my mind. I remembered that someone once said, the more beautiful something is, the more dangerous it is as well, such as rose. Rose grows so delicate and charming that makes us want to touch it and hold it in hand. But, its bristly stems will hurt us if we take it out from the ground. Only if you just admire its beauty, it can be the most beautiful and most natural thing. So, similarly, the porcupinefish tasted fantastic, but it's the second most poisonous vertebrates in the world. They use their toxin to protect themselves. To meet the needs, greatest wise humans would always find a way to get what they want. They make the rose become their toy and train special chef to prepare the porcupinefish.
They don't realize that it's harmful to both themselves and those poor creatures. What a poor fish! They couldn't escape the fate of being killed by human beings even though they are toxic. Just like I wondered at the time I wrote the diary if they know they are going to die, will they cry?
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